Maybe he's always done this, so we got used to it, but it's still not something that we should accept. Those times don’t last long as he constantly complains about most everything I do from the way I clean my home to the way I allow my young adult son to keep his room and his bathroom a mess. I do not want to be alone, I want a life partner, but I want a good one, whos a gentleman like my daddy was to my mom. For a partnership to be healthy, you can’t be a constant crutch. Actually dude next door. But do it for you and your children and not for him. Don't just be like"Ok I am satisfied with you” that sounds more upfront and less convincing. And only when the magical dust of infatuation begins to settle does the real question enter the picture. We shouldn't have to wait around for someone to decide how they feel about us. LW, give him his space – but also try and let him know that the door is open in the future if/when he is more secure…that isn’t recommending to wait it out….but at least let him know this doesn’t have to be the end all. It sounds like you’re in such a bad relationship, but you have no way to leave. http://theadventurouswriter.com/quipstipsrelationships/how-to-make-your-husband-love-you/. We have 2 children. Especially when it implies that they, as a grown man/woman, aren’t capable of figuring out what’s good for them. You need to respect his wishes and acknowledge that yeah, he broke up with you. Would be greatly appreciated, more than you’ll ever know… Thx. There is a old blues song about it. He always tells incredible hard luck stories about his past. But, deep down, we'll know that's just a bunch of lies that we're telling ourselves to make ourselves feel better. I am never going to be as motivated and successful as you will be, but I’m at a spot now that I’m comfortable with. ( I am 53 years old and came out of a 28 year marriage when I met him.) this is a really bad relationship with you making too many concessions out of fear of losing someone who does not treat you with respect. Since we had our falling out almost 5 years ago, it has been a constant battle and its not fair for my kids to have to be witness to it. I need help as a man where can I find it? Getting resumes sent out, looking for apartments he hasn’t noticed. my boyfriend and I have been together for 8 year we been through a lot ! It is hard to see how such a relationship can ever be equal. Im truly broken. If you believe you and he would be better off not in a relationship, then you need to break up with him and learn how to deal with your feelings of guilt. And spending time together rather than being the working mum and dad, I have said all this to him and he reckons he will try to change but it doesn’t he is a constant moaner, never shows excitement and just a complete downer on everything really. Can You Ever Stop Loving Someone and Find Love in Someone Else. .then things changed again. I AM NOT HAPPY ANYMORE. years later says it is because she got a divorce, yes, she had a job. It’s good to be aware of the warning signs. I am working part-time for myself and we really struggle. We’ve also been trying for another because I want more kids but he doesn’t, it’s taken me all these years to convince him to have another, but that’s now out of the question, I would never forgive myself if something happens to my baby because of his drug alcohol addiction. I agree he isn’t a jerk. I used to ask myself is this the best God could do? He gets annoyed if you just want to talk or hang out doing something else. : A Woman’s Guide to Deciding Whether to Stay or Go, Should I Stay or Should I Go? My boyfriend needs help. Your husband should not patronize you or treat you like a child, housekeeper, errand runner, or slave. Am I wrong to think that I should be??? I can relate to the boyfriend having issues, mine were really bad at the time (living at home with emotionally and verbally abusive mother after I lost my job). But I believe the tips apply to human beings in general. It is healthy to learn how to stand on your own two feet, emotionally and financially. Slept with him. Have you tried asking him about how he feels? Saving up so I have some where to go. Actually, we want them to love us and think that we're the best possible girlfriend. Its like she wants me to accept it or leave. later and he didn’t answer. Is he accusing you because he did something he shouldn’t have done? Started living together shortly after that, again too soon. It is for my well being. It’s so important to retain some independence in your marriage, even if you are totally secure and certain it’ll last forever. If your husband goes behind your back and takes a woman 400 to her work without asking the wife her letting her know. But once infatuation loses its hold, communication and trust should replace the infatuation immediately, or one or both of you may just end up getting bored with the relationship. I know I should leave, but I don’t know how. What do you think, was he just helping. And LW, I just got out of a relationship almost exactly like this, only it was me who wanted out. Is this the kind of person that we want to be with? I would give anything to have his love and affection again. He disappoints you. Then the girl I had nothing at all in common with says she’s pregnant (already has a 3yo daughter) was 3months along(said she was on the pill). I love my husband very much but I’m so depressed and sad I can barely stand it. I have never done anything to anyone while we were out. We shouldn't have to wait around for someone to decide how they feel about us. Would you want your sister, best friend, or daughter to be in this relationship? Jess of CityGirlsWorld.com If our boyfriend tells us that we're crazy, there's really only one thing to do: get out as fast as we can... and wonder why we were even dating him in the first place. And I might add—he sounds like a big freakin’ BABY so count your blessings and like others are saying, find someone who doesn’t need a mommy. I wish I could be more helpful, but all I can do is encourage you to reach out and call as many organizations as possible. Or maybe I’ll find someone who doesn’t make me feel that way AND has the other qualities. He may even still lover her, but can’t become truly independent and capable until he can exist without his crutch. Sex is he only type of affection he’s willing to give. I don’t know, so I have to try. When we are in 1-year living in together, I got pregnant that time and we are both busy in our jobs. I recently found the dating site we met on log n to my phone it popped up a couple times and decided to put a password I knew he wuld use sure thing got in. Required fields are marked *. I am blessed that my parents didn’t raise a lazy woman and I can happy support my family with out him and he is well aware of that so I am not sure why he continues to be here if he doesn’t want to? I feel there are other places to go if he wants some alone time. He did the next day expecting me to pick him up to go out as we had planned. He does and says things like this offten. I don’t have any family near me either other than my oldest child. October 20, 2011, 9:44 pm. It's different if we're both working and earning money vs. if one of us is still in school or something. Mainly because it was true. When you do well, he should be celebrating with you, not minimizing your accomplishments because heâs envious that youâve done something awesome.