Saboot Chahiye? Men may be slower to arrive at the altar, but once there, they’re typically good to go. 7 steps couples should take to address unmet expectations. Really, when you think about it, this makes no sense. What is Personal Finance in the 21st Century? हमारे यहां लड़की की शादी होते ही यानी किसी परिवार की बहू बनते ही उससे बहुत कुछ बदलने की अपेक्षाएं की जाती हैं। उससे अपेक्षा की जाती है कि वह अपनी पुरानी पहचान को छोड़कर नई पहचान ओढ़ लें। अगर ससुराल ट्रेडिशनल है तो सिर पर पल्लू रखना, रीति-रिवाजों का पालन करना, तुलसी में पानी चढ़ाना जैसी अपेक्षाएं की जाती हैं। अगर ससुराल थोड़ा मार्डन है तो अपेक्षाएं की जाती हैं कि बहू में टेबल एटिकेट्स हो, अंगेजी आती हों। न आती हो तो उससे तुरंत सबकुछ सीखने की उम्मीद रखी जाती है। यहां हम बता रहे हैं वे अपेक्षाएं जो शादी के बाद पत्नी या नई बहू से की जाती है: 1.चाहिए ट्रॉफी वाइफ : पहले जहां पति और ससुराल के लोगों का जोर एक आइडियल वाइफ और आदर्श बहू पर होता था, माडर्न जमाने में इसमें थोड़ा बदलाव आया है। अपेक्षाओं का तरीका बदल गया है, लेकिन अपेक्षाएं नहीं। अब हस्बैंड को चाहिए ट्रॉफी वाइफ, यानी ऐसी पत्नी जो स्टेटस सिंबल बन सके। यहां पत्नी से अपेक्षा की जाती है कि वह अपनी पहचान छोड़कर उस पहचान को धारण कर लें जो पति को सूट करती हो।, 2.अगर हसबैंड NRI है तो अंग्रेजी तो आनी ही चाहिए : दामाद अगर एनआरआई चाहिए तो फिर एनआरआई पति को भी ऐसी बीवी चाहिए तो फर्राटेदार अंग्रेजी बोल सके। अंग्रेजी बोलने वाली बीवी इसलिए चाहिए ताकि एनआरआई पति अपने स्टेटस को मेंटेन कर सके। फिर भले ही बीवी इसमें कंफर्ट हो या न हो। नहीं आती हो अंग्रेजी की क्लासेस जाएं और वहां से अंग्रेजी सीखकर आएं।, 3.ब्राइडल ग्रूमिंग स्कूल से ट्रेंड हो : इन दिनों देश के कई हिस्सों में आइडियल बहू बनने की ट्रेनिंग का भी चलन है। खासकर पंजाब के क्षेत्र में ऐसे ब्राइडल ग्रूमिंग सेंटर काफी मिल जाते हैं जहां लड़कियों को टेबल एटिकेट्स, पर्सनल डेवलमेंट आदि की ट्रेनिंग दी जाती है। ये सेंटर एक तरह से लड़की की ओरिजिनल आइडेंटिटी को छीनकर एक नकली पहचान का आवरण चढ़ा देते हैं। कई तथाकथित आधुनिक परिवारों को ऐसी ही पत्नी या बहू चाहिए जो ब्राइडल ग्रूमिंग स्कूल से ट्रेंड हो।. Do let us know of your thoughts in the comments. Many women say they know this is unrealistic, but they don’t actually accept it. The Matrimonial Causes Act of 1857 gave men the right to divorce their wives on the grounds of adultery. Somehow society seems to regard women who wish to make a family and a separate home, as rebels. 12 Things Indian Women Undergo after Marriage, Tanishq Pulls Down It’s Cracker Free Diwali Ad, Game of Thrones – Actor Iwan Rheon says the Sansa Stark…, KBC 12- Nazia Nasim Becomes First Crorepati of the Season, Hrithik Roshan in Talks to Play Spy in Hollywood Thriller, Sadhguru Speaks on Citizenship Amendment Act & NRC, The Family Man – Manoj Bajpayee | Amazon Original, A Heart Touching Story of Indian Soldier and his Daughter, Lisa Ray to lend voice in bandit queen documentary, Big B’s look from Tamil film ‘Uyarntha Manithan’ out, The Untold Reflection – A Suicide which shook the whole IT…. Here are the three most common unrealistic expectations women harbor about men and marriage. On the other hand, my maternal uncle (Mama), worked from home most of the time, as he had his own business, didn’t have to do anything. According to marriage and family therapist Willa Williams, here are seven steps couples (and anyone else, for that matter) can take to turn the nightmare of unmet expectations into a genuine opportunity to grow their relationship and become teammates again!. Mostly while upbringing girls, parents teach daughters that when they grow up, their duty will be to take care of home and family. They’re taught they’re entitled to it “all” and as a result expect too much. But what about post marriage circumstances. A marriage can be reasonably fair—I say “reasonably” because nothing in life is fair, to anyone—without husbands and wives living identical lives. The biggest sacrifice is that a girl will go to the boy’s house leaving her home and accept his family as her own. Suzanne Venker is an author, columnist, and relationship coach. In fact, life in general is a much more pragmatic undertaking than women wish it was. Expectations From Girls After Marriage. Given the fact that she has to move in with her husband and his parents, a totally new environment, if the husband works in a different city or country, she expects her husband to keep in touch in every which way to make her comfortable until she settles in the new home. Watch Kaleerein Serial On ZEE TV The Responsibilities of A Girl’s Parents After Marriage, A productive and satisfying work-life balance, A more focused approach towards achieving your goals, The ability to deal with stress, anxiety, depression and pressures of all kinds and from many sources - personal, societal, peer. There is no man you can fall in love with for whom this will not be your fate. 10 Reasons Why Girls Should Continue Working After Marriage. He came to home, ordered for the tea, lunch etc. Yes…marriage! She loves to write articles and poems on anti-social elements. Are the questions I am addressing in this post. What if the marriage doesn’t work out? A Reply to Pakistan – Final Solution! Identify your expectations as well as your partners’. Once the initial phase of the relationship has passed, people realize they need a lot more than romance to keep it going. She has to bid adieu to her job and career aspirations when she chooses to marry. Remember, “love covers a multitude of sins” (1 Peter 4:8). But what about post marriage circumstances. Accept whatever happens in your marriage life. It’s unsustainable. And somehow, I had a knack of observing and analysing things in my surroundings, especially if it was about inequality between male and female. It has become a situation that after marriage you need to get permission from your husband and mother in law to meet your own family (Father, Mother and sister, brother) and stay at their place. They’re taught they’re entitled to it ‘all’ and as a result expect way too much out of men and marriage. But at the end of the day, it’s about teamwork. Extra Responsibilities. Decision making is another challenge, where she might be supervised at every step of the way. Invariably, they’re both disappointed.”. When in world did my birth place change to be a place where I should be asked permission to go to??? What if the marriage doesn’t work out? Your mother in law does not want you to work after marriage, you would have an ambitious career aspiration, however you are expected to lead a better family life and have kids rather than attaining your career aspiration. An understanding spouse is what she expects. For the business to operate effectively, both of our tasks are equally important. We have an identity that we don’t really want to change. Chances are she will have to discontinue things/hobbies/interests of her choice. If she is allowed to work, then she will have to carry on the usual chores and run errands around the house, regardless of time constraints. Sometimes your marriage will suck. But in today’s time, women need to learn to be independent and they cannot afford to confine themselves within the walls. On any given day, week, month, or year you will, in fact, not be happy—nor will you have warm fuzzies for your husband. Once married, it was extremely difficult for a woman to obtain a divorce. IN BRIEF: In this post we look into the vantage point of marriage from a woman’s perspective. 12 Common Marriage Expectations. Think only about your husband, keeping your in laws happy; work at office and at home. A Very Powerful Video Which Shows You How It Feels Like... Gunfights in Shopian, Kupwara; 3 militants killed, AI detects new class of genetic mutations behind autism. No time for yourself?? These what-ifs are particularly worrisome for Indian girls because getting a divorce is still a big taboo. A lot more. Let me repeat that, because it’s so important: There is no man you can fall in love with for whom this will not be your fate. Nisha Dagar is very passionate about Journalism. Copyright © 2020 The Federalist, a wholly independent division of FDRLST Media, All Rights Reserved. How much work you or your husband do on the home front depends upon several factors, such as which one of you is home more. That’s because a marriage can be equal, or equal enough, depending on how you define this term, regardless of who does what. You can make those special moments like first night after marriage, honeymoon, birthdays, anniversaries, valentine day, etc. Exist. So do yourself a favor and forget about equality. But if that’s the case, it isn’t necessarily your husband or the marriage that’s causing your unhappiness. What all a girl expects after marriage, what challenges she faces, what sacrifices she makes and what is the reality? Let’s say you and I went into business together. Even most of the girls leave their jobs and studies post marriage, because their In-laws don’t allow such undertakings. Work at office, work at home, work during weekend and also work when you go to your mother in laws’ place?? Women marry men with the hope they will change. Alisa Grace - October 12, 2015 Topic: Communication, Conflict, Engagement, Family, Marriage, Relationships. Men and women have completely different expectations of marriage. What if love is lost with time? But when you start working, despite the amount you earn as remuneration, you get to do something that makes you feel that you are not dependent on anyone for anything. If both partners are living parallel lives, it’s only natural to keep score. The purpose of marriage is not to make you happy. This may sound depressing at face value. It’s likely something that rests within you. Once married it is expected for women who are working should do office work and the work at home. Second, your marriage won’t … What if we don’t want babies? So go with it; let it suck. If you chase that dream, you will be disappointed. But once you accept that marriage isn’t designed to make you happy, it frees you up to focus on what does make you happy. When a girl is single, she enjoys her freedom to either stay at home or work to earn extra money to pay for her impulsive shopping expenses. Most Indian Men before marriage work at home and cook when they stay alone for work. This Australian Stunt Rider Surfed The Giant Waves On A Dirt... Roadies Fame Neha Dhupia’s Stunning Holiday Pics in Maldives with Hubby... Ed Sheeran was bullied in school over his hair. FAU-G App! But wouldn’t you agree that those expectations for marriage are totally unrealistic? Raising a family requires a myriad of tasks that are impossible for one person to do alone successfully. And she has some expectations from her husband, who is suppose to work together and fulfil each other’s responsibilities and promises. Mother In-law’s tend not to allow her daughter In-law to work or study.